Ever wonder who that person was years ago who carried your name? We tend to think of who we were before major life changes as being like someone else, right? And yet, there’s a continuity as well. I am still that second-grade girl feeling the presence of Jesus in the stained-glass dome of St. Michael’s Catholic Church, and yet…there’s a sense of changing lanes on the spiritual highway somehow.
Still mulling over this phenomenon that has become me over the last twelve years or so. After my initial connection to Higher Self, which my ego found very exciting and managed to mis-use in its usual anxious way, I gradually (and not smoothly, mind you—many cathartic moments of up and down involved) settled into the psychological vessel I now occupy where I still carry daily anxieties about the future, but on the whole find myself calmer and much more patient with outside circumstances than before.
Other people continue to be amazed by this, and I can’t fully explain how I changed my brain (no step-by-step procedure, sorry), but I did. I really believe that the electro-chemistry in my neural net really did shift. It’s not just some airy-fairy spiritual wand waving thing. We are biological creatures here, so any energies we apply to ourselves will have biological manifestations. I’ll bet if I’d had some MRI thing done back in 1995 and then again in 2015, there’d be some interesting changes in connections, particularly between the emotional centers and my rational decision-making centers.
Like I said, folks seem to be amazed by this. To me it feels like unraveling a straitjacket from a point where my own willingness to change somehow untied the first knots. I do feel like I can use this gift of infinite patience and non-judgmental attitude to help other people shift their own neural nets to a happier place, but this is a very “yin” thing. No goals, no checklists, no speeches, no striving after something. It’s hard to structure a “program” around the empty space of a non-judgmental opening gift to another to be who they are happiest being.
And yet, I see a need from people for someone in their life who will give this gift of space, to listen, yes, but more than that, to project an energy of acceptance that generates power for change.
Ah, the paradoxes of our relative universe! Some way to take what seems empty and demonstrate a value that can be exchanged.
For right now, I will continue to be this vessel in my current relationships and see what manifests. If you have any ideas for how I might help people with this gift, let me know.
Outposts on the Path
Melissa Camara Wilkins writes well on many contemplative topics, but this one on parenthood speaks to my article here on space as well. Check it out here.
Also, since this article helped me think about how to express this “giving good space” calling of mine, I’ll pass on Joanne Young Elliott’s recent article, which does have a nice structure and practical guidance on finding your own soul purpose in lie. More on that here.