I’m not much for Tejano music as a rule, but this is Selena‘s hometown (people visit her memorial here all the time—this community loved her so), and she did so much to expand the reach of Tejano-based music and to celebrate her Latina heritage within her American context.
For us, some sort of rhythm is slowly settling in here in our elder care detour.
I think it’s the rhythm of the waves so far. Back and forth between smooth progress and various logistical and psychological frustrations of learning to live with “Ma.” It’s always an interesting transition between living alone or as an empty-nest couple and suddenly finding yourselves adjusting to being with others. I advocate Nina Brown’s practice of invoking the fascinated observer to maintain equilibrium while others “fuss” around me, but I didn’t grow up with these folks, so it’s harder on hubby, who did. 🙂 We’re managing.
I always believe that difficulties are inevitable and the trick is not to get stuck, but to work your way through to the other side where peace resides.
One thing I’ve really learned to appreciate while being with mother-in-law is the blessed gift of sight. She’s almost totally blind now, and one of our adjustments to this new rhythm is to learn to walk through the house “in her shoes” and understand why objects need to stay in their places, and why the feel of things is so important. What seems to be her fussiness about things is often a smart strategy to allow her to know her environment and avoid obstacles. She has all sorts of strategies to keep track of things, including memorizing lots of phone numbers (who does that nowadays!), and feeling the steps on the stairs on the way up and down. Since her blindness was a gradual process with age (macular degeneration and glaucoma), she’s never taken on Braille, but listens to books and TV instead. She has her own daily rhythm that works around her physical limitations, and we are slowly learning to flow with it.
Meanwhile, there’s the challenge of taking care of ourselves. I’m pretty happy as an indoor person, but hubby’s outdoor sensibility feels more restricted here, although when the fishing season starts in earnest, he will find some solitary rest for his hermit soul.
My hermit tends to get neglected because I like being around people, but it’s important to cultivate that aspect to make sure I’m not being pulled in a million directions at once and not actually moving anywhere on my own path (I am often susceptible to internal detours). I use my daily yoga practice and Tarot card draws to remind me to breathe for me and not always just for others, to take time out for my own soul.
And so, we continue, as hubby says, to raise an old woman to finish her life. This is our current purpose, and a fine one it is. 🙂
Outposts Along the Path
Jean Hamilton-Fford is likely the most actively creative person I know. She does not just talk the talk of spiritual transformation and flowing the creative work, she produces results, day after day, even with the challenge of a chronic health condition. You want inspiration for your journey and your projects? Go here, and sign up.
Poetry outpost: Shay’s Word Garden is currently my favorite poetic haven. This lady is very, very good, almost every day. I am constantly amazed at the imagery, the emotion, the phrasing, the rhythm. Sign up and enjoy outstanding wordsmithery.